這兩個主日在崇拜和主日學都會談論到夫妻相處之道，其實夫妻之道也不外是建基在一般人際關係的原則之上。中國對夫妻有一句古老的忠告，就是「相敬如賓」，是很有智慧和道理的。它的意思是，不以親而疏於禮。
人與人之間的相處，很多時候是親而無禮。這是什麼意思呢？它的意思是，當人與人之間的關係漸漸親近了，就不再注重人際關係中的原則，自私的念頭就慢慢增強，常常委屈別人來滿足自己。於是，我們常常看見，兩個熟識的朋友，矛盾反而增多，往往在認識久了之候，朋友就做不成了。這個現象背後有很多原因，而且都是非常有趣和諷刺的，但我不打算在這裡談論。我只想提出一點和大家一起思考的，就是「獨樂樂不如眾樂樂」的交友之道。
在交友的前期，我們都會為了建立友誼，爭取友誼，都會為對方著想及考慮，以對方的快樂為自己的快樂，才有可能成功地建立起友誼。然而一旦成為朋友，友誼深了，人就從他利的態度，漸漸轉變成自利的態度，經常要求朋友滿足自己的需要，而不想再像以前一樣去遷就對方。人從自我中心（自私）的心態中走出來，是性格和屬靈生命成長的重要過程，朋友以至夫妻的關係便成為人自我成長的重要助力。如果我們要享受人際關係的快樂，不管是一般的友誼、或情侶，甚至是夫妻，都要以獨樂樂不如眾樂樂的態度來交往。
On these two Sundays, we will talk about husband and wife relationship in our worship service and Sunday school. Some principles of marital relationship are also principles for building healthy relationship among friends. One ancient Chinese saying has some truth to advise a married couple to treat each other like friends. What it means is that, husband and wife should not abuse their relationship simply because they are married and have a very intimate relationship.
In people relationship, sometimes, we see the closeness will be used as an excuse to abuse friendship. What does it mean? It means that when two persons become close friends, they tend to ignore the principles that they used to observe to build their friendship, and allow their selfish desires have their own ways. Therefore, it will not be surprised to see two persons once become good friends to start fighting and arguing, and eventually to break the friendship.
Of course, we know there are a lot of reasons contributing into this issue, and it is no way to discuss them in this little article. I just want to bring out one thing for discussion, and it is the principle of making people happy is the happiest thing in relationship.
In the earlier stage of building friendship, we are more eager to be considerate and to make people happy for it will make us happy too and secure the friendship. However, once the friendship is built and the relationship is getting closer, our attitude will also change, and become more self-centered and selfish. We will be less eager to give in and more demanding.
Going out of our self-centeredness or selfishness is the process of maturity, and friends or our spouse are the biggest helpers in this process of growth. Therefore, if we want to enjoy relationship, no matter, they are friendship or husband and wife relationship, the principle of making people happy is the happiest thing in relationship is always the golden rule.
